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tonight i like this... [03 Jan 2005|12:50am]
“Of course you're okay. You're alive.”

“…Yes, the ellipsis. It's dumb. It's dumb. It's an awful idea. I'm not gonna do it, okay? 'Cause like you said, this is it. This is life. And I'm in love with you, Samantha. I think that's the only thing I've ever been really sure of in my entire life.”

“…you're definitely in it.”
-Garden State

its just for me
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say goodbye... [30 Dec 2004|11:16pm]
[ mood | cold ]

so soon 2004 will be over and i don't think its the worst year ever.
think about all the firsts and onlys that happened in 2004, i can't help but looking back and smiling. i have had my longest periods of happiness/contentness this year. and while i did hit some rough patches here and there i suppose i came out unscathed. you know that whole college thing. and i think its pretty significant thing to say i haven't cried in over a month. and while that worries me, it may just mean that im ok and after some serious depressing times i really don't mind just plain being ok. so maybe something big is coming. im ok with that too. im not afraid to be happy for extended periods of time. not anymore. so thanks 2004. goodbye.

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this is the night [29 Dec 2004|12:40am]
[ mood | sleepy ]

good times were had by all
thank you for the wonderful gifts
and after letting it soak in i did like closer
oh, natalie.
we'll have a chat.
ok im off to bed for work tomorrow
thank you all.

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well christmas has always been a pretty good holiday... [26 Dec 2004|11:57am]
[ mood | satisfied ]

even with the drama of the oc's christmukkah...no seriously the same amount of drama.
but i got everything i asked for, the books, and movies, and the clothes.
i heart the sims2.
you know im nerd.
especially since i asked for books for christmas...haha oh well.
tuesday will be fun.
itll be like christmas again. ohhh and we are going to dc?! yay for that.

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hey... did i tell you about my theory?! [21 Dec 2004|11:22pm]
[ mood | cold ]

umm yes i have to work 2morrow.
why did i agree to do that?
traveling down memory lane w. megan is fun.
so are weird/crazy movies.
ummm but adam brody...i don't think you understand.
oh right i have nothing to say.
i wouldn't mind having a boy, by the way.

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i solemnly swear that i am up to no good.. [21 Dec 2004|01:18am]
[ mood | tired ]

now this will be a pointless entry. but im bored so im doing it.
xmas shopping is difficult. books and dvds are more expensive than i thought.
we will wait until after xmas to do things, yes?
now i had always thought that the xmas season was always the most romantic, more so than valentines...i guess thats because of the ideas/pictures i keep in my mind. and look only a couple more days til xmas and then i should be ok, right? i am doing really well now
everyone is looking for their secret agent lover man type right?
i left dangerous angels at school, will i last the break without it?..hmmm ponder.ponder.
oh, i <3 books.
yes yes. pointless.
i shall go sleep now i suppose.
i exercised today. go me!

mischief managed.

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winter break!, its alll goooood [20 Dec 2004|01:25am]
[ mood | totally cool ]

being on break is good fun.
i like sleeping. alot.
i do not like helping to clean. boo cleaning.
i have also been complaining a little bit about how my parents have changed stuff in the house. im sorry i don't like coming home to new/different stuff. especially when i am not informed about it. anyway im getting over that.
this break i will read. alot.
and i will try and exercise. we shall see about this. i lost 2 pounds apparently, yay me!
and i like this quote from Lemony Snicket
"...the worst surroundings in the world can be tolerated if the people in them are interesting and kind."
this makes me think about things. its all good though.
im waiting to see how long it takes before i get back to feeling how i used to feel in times like this.
you know i must have something negative stirring in the back of my mind. i can't be too happy for too long. this is just they way i am.
and im alright.
i want to see people soon.
oh right, i forgot i work on wed.
booooo work.
yay money!

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perfect timing. really. [15 Dec 2004|02:09pm]
[ mood | sick ]

this entry will probably be filled with lots of complaining.
so if you don't wish to read it, then bugger off.
monday astronomy exam. terrible. i suck at science. alot. the end.
after feeling bad about how i did on the ASTR exam i stay up late and study for my SOAN exam. late as in 4am and had to get up at 8am.
Tuesday: get to soan, he hands out a sheet with our grades on it. i have a B. then he says "if you satisfied with you grade you don't have to take the final" oh shiiiit. and knowing myself and how well i do on cummulative exams i elect not to take it. and it wasn't even like if it hurts you he won't count it. it was either you take it or you don't. how stupid. but i got over it pretty quickly because i was tired and i probably would have screwed it up anyway. so later on in the afternoon i start feeling sick. all phelgmy(i cant spell either) and stuff. didn't really do much studying for my history and polysci finals which are both thursday. awesome. me palmer and becky went to midnight breakfast. it was packed and people were crazy with the karoke and being slightly intoxicated, which you could be because the email they sent us just said you couldn't be overly intoxicated. anyway that was good times. so after making fun of becky and ben. and pretending we were solid snake and dinosaurs we came back to the room. and becky tried to spike palmers hair. that was interesting. nevertheless that didn't work and decided to try again after break. all the while i am feeling sicker and sicker. ben and sean came over to see palmers hair which didn't work out and left. ben is crazy. watched some silly mtv thing about dating someones mom. got in trouble for being loud. we have been under quiet hours since sunday night. palmer leaves at 2 and then i go to sleep.
Wednesday: i wake up at 10:30 after planning to get up at 8 to study. i feel like shit. i make some tea and proceed to study. it is very hard to study when sick you know. i take some drugs. doesn't take too much time before im asleep again. i wake up feeling much better. i make soup and here i am.

supposed to study with palmer, ben and becky in the fort for history. we'll see how that goes. and i still have to study for poly sci.

im sick and im ready to come home.

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i am supposed to be studying. [14 Dec 2004|04:06pm]
[ mood | nostalgic ]

1. What did you do in 2004 that you'd never done before?
graduated highschool, started college, got super drunk , crazy hfs, modest mouse, the cure, violent femmes, smoke, learn how to drive, got a job, kissing

2. Did you keep your new years' resolutions, and will you make more for next year?
didn't make any.

3. Did anyone close to you give birth?

4. Did anyone close to you die?
5. What countries did you visit?
none. supposed to go to japan, but you know. not going.

6. What would you like to have in 2005 that you lacked in 2004?
a house with my people.

7. What date from 2004 will remain etched upon your memory, and why?
june 1- graduation, may 28-prom, everyday of beachweek, a couple weeks in october especially halloween.

8. What was your biggest achievement of the year?
graduating and going to college.

9. What was your biggest failure?
hmmm. i didn;t do anything hugely important to fail at

10. Did you suffer illness or injury?
yes unfortunately.

11. What was the best thing you bought?
hmmm beats me.

12. Whose behavior merited celebration?

13. Whose behavior made you appalled and depressed?
my own for little while. i was having a rough time for a little bit there.

14. Where did most of your money go?
college stuff, movies, food, etc.

15. What did you get really, really, really excited about?
beach week

17. What song will always remind you of 2004?
there are many, but probably float on.

18. Compared to this time last year, are you:
i. happier or sadder? that's hard to say
ii. thinner or fatter? same
iii. richer or poorer? poorer

19. What do you wish you'd done more of?
spent more time with my people. not stressing.

20. What do you wish you'd done less of?
crying. being sad. worrying. feeling alone.

21. How will you be spending Christmas?

22. Did you fall in love in 2004?

23. Are you still in love now?

24. Do you hate anyone now that you didn't hate this time last year?
hmm. nope.

25. What did you want and get?
probably one of the best weeks of my life.

26. What did you want and not get?
to go to japan!

27. What was your favorite film of this year?
garden state, harry potter, lost in translation (i may have gotten my years mixed up)

28. What did you do on your birthday, and how old were you?
18,on my birthday weekend. i spent some time with my people and family. oh right and got ponded.

29. What one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying?
not questioning my decisions all the time.

30. How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2004?

31. What kept you sane?
my friends. good music.

32. What political issue stirred you the most?

33. Who did you miss?
home.family.my people.

34.Who was the best new person you met?
hhmm... becky.

35. Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2004:

36. Did you get a new job in 2004?
well i got my first job. dept. of education whoo!!

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study study study [12 Dec 2004|04:47pm]
[ mood | working ]

iTunes are soooo distracting.
i love it.
i also love astronomy.
we are made of stardust. no, really we are.
im here just trying to avoid more studying.
the dorms are under quiet hours until thursday.
haha we'll see how that works out.
ok i can't take another break until 8 ok?

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right now [11 Dec 2004|11:01pm]
[ mood | cranky ]

i want to go home.
i do not want to study for any exams. so i will put that off for as long as possible, which means i will be studying for my astronomy final all day 2morrow. awesome. i need to start listening to myself more. things are much better now. though sometimes i feel disgusted with myself. oh well. rumors are stupid, more so when they are incorrect. i am a totally different person when i am here i realize and i don't know if i like it. oh well. sooon i will be home. 4 exams and then 9:15 thursday night i am done with SMCM until Jan 16 or thereabouts. i need to remember to buy blue books. now its time for reading/napping/then snl.
i wish i was going to japan for break, like i was supposed to.
i suck.
the end.

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alrighty then... [07 Dec 2004|11:09am]
[ mood | im ok. you're ok. ]

i am so amazingly chill right now.
and that could change within minutes, but im ok with that.
i am now pretty sure that i will miss school when i am on break.
and that in itself is amazing since everyone knows how much trouble ive been having with this place.
i like chill nights with video games and nice mellow company. even though i have a term paper due.
i am not worried about it, yet.
soo finals are soon. awesome. i will probably have a breakdown this weekend. its cool though.
i wish i had all my FLB books with me.
i do like anime and video games.
oh god, i am a nerd.
i really am in a good mood.
9 more days til i see my people...

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we both will [03 Dec 2004|01:55pm]
[ mood | much better ]

so i've been thinking.
about nothing inparticular.
i started taking walks again. and i was doing so well.
christmas is sooon. and that is all that will get me to dec 17.
exams suck...soo do papers.
i also like skipping class.
a quick chat can make alot of things better.
im ok. you're ok.

oh when you guys get the apartment. i will visit very very often. im also excited about the kitty. i really am.

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Gandhiji!!!!! [01 Dec 2004|12:34pm]
[ mood | working ]

bouncing souls are love
brought to you by the isLove Generator

im sure i wrote the bouncing souls in a list somewhere.
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its fun [28 Nov 2004|12:07pm]
[ mood | content ]

oh, japan.
i <3 my people.
and gandhi is almost finished, just the conclusion now. ill have to wait until im in a mood.
annnnd i like christmas. i hope i can make it there, you know with the exams and all the school work, and stuff.
my friends are better than yours.
that is all.
oh wait, i don't want to go back to school.

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gonna wake up and do it all over again. [25 Nov 2004|12:44am]
[ mood | sleepy ]

good night. good times.
parking is silly.
i will never finish my camera.
megan and danny are waayy silly.
im actually sleepy now. interesting. but i will get up early to do work.
you know how i do.
umm i bought harry potter.
i want some new music.
ohhh so pointless. gooodbye

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still trying. [23 Nov 2004|01:49pm]
[ mood | im alright people ]

im trying to be better.
at many things.
i can't be afraid of being happy.
oh and less analyzing of my life.
really need to see my people.
and figure out if i really kinda miss stmarys.


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your sooo cooool. [21 Nov 2004|02:40pm]
[ mood | grumpy ]

umm whatever.
anger and silliness. blah blah.
beth is cooler than you and your mom.
oh, and i like seeing people.
college isn't thaat great. oh riight, we knew this.

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[17 Nov 2004|09:52am]
[ mood | worried ]

so Happy 2 Years to the most slinkster cool team!
umm im scared about my test.
study time

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[15 Nov 2004|10:59pm]
[ mood | bored ]

What do people really think about you?
by Raven319
favorite song
Parents thinkYou're an angel
Strangers thinkYou're hot
Friends thinkYou talk too much
Quiz created with MemeGen!

that's just my favorite song of the hour.
hmmm sooo bored.
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